Art Update
I went to art school for about a year. While I was there, I was only allowed to draw realism--copying what I saw onto the paper. Which is an important skill to learn, and I think I would've enjoyed it, but there's two things that really seemed to hinder me:
1. I haven't been drawing all my life, only starting in high school with anime characters.
2. My teachers sucked.
Because I hadn't been drawing all my life, I had to work a lot harder to catch up and draw what I saw. This meant that I, no exaggeration, was in the studio longer than anyone else. I spent countless hours upon hours drawing intensely, only to look across from me and see someone who'd been drawing from the age of 2, much more practice than I, draw what basically looked like a photograph in a fraction of the time. I would always end up with a letter grade C while my friends got As and Bs. This degraded my spirit and, since I was drawing as early as 2, 3, 5 AM, also took a toll on my mental health, and by the end of the semester I was constantly anxious, frightened, and suicidal.
On top of this, my teachers sucked. I learned later that he picked favorites, especially favoring the girls he thought were pretty. He was far too old to be doing this. Since I wasn't his favorite, I wasn't even recognized for my effort, but instead accused of "waiting till the night before". Which, yeah, I had done it the night before, and the night before that, and the night before that, working so insanely hard and not even being recognized.
The summer after I decided to change my major, I tried drawing again. I'm still quite proud of that art. It was a big middle finger to art school and what they'd put me through.
And then I went back to school.
And then I just didn't want to draw anymore.
I changed my major to English, and found out that I love writing essays critiquing media. I became a feminist. I got into baking and cooking, learned to take care of myself and my sleep, and fell in love with somebody.
I discovered that I love learning about human sexuality, and have now made the decision to become a sexuality educator. I read everything I can about it--right now I'm going through a sociology textbook, although I also have medical ones on my beloved bookshelf. I write for the school newspaper and am vice president and co-founder of a sexuality discussion club on my campus. I give away condoms and other safer sex supplies regularly. I love helping people create authentic sexual lives that are rooted firmly in respect for themselves and for whoever they choose to sleep with. It's an odd interest, to be sure, but it's one I clearly have a passion for, even when the work is difficult or people's questions throw me off guard.
And while all this is going on, I tried drawing again. And stopped when it got a teensy bit difficult. And started again. And stopped again. I thought of the anxiety I had. The sleepless nights. The fact that I hadn't ever been good enough, despite the work that I had done. The shame I felt even bothering to turn in what looked so objectively bad to me. And so I kept quitting.
Bare with me.
When I started this account I was a homeschooler, having fun drawing hot anime boys, striving to improve myself, and working on fantastical pieces of art. Even when I failed, it was fun. When I posted art here, I smiled.
And I want that again. I don't think I want to make a living off of art or be some big-time artist. I just wanna have fun drawing again. I want to fail and get back up again.
Like my boyfriend told me, he codes his game every day, even the days he doesn't feel like it. And he's proud of himself, and he's improved, and I'm proud of him.
But I got this big ol' canson sketchbook from AC Moore, and with a little mechanical pencil I'm starting to draw again. Every day. Before I go to work, and after I get off.
Because I've missed art.
It's time to come back home.
Freelancing (Somewhat)
I also have a small tumblr, which will mainly be used as a digital portfolio to showcase only my best work. I haven't posted much yet, but I'll definitely follow you if you have one too!
I might open up commissions soon, but I haven't yet decided yet. If you're interested, go ahead and shoot me a note! We'll figure something out.
Thanks to everyone for your support! You're all lovely.
Have a wonderful day, and thank you again!
Hello everyone!!
And I'm ready to start drawing again. I went to art school for a full school year, and I don't feel that I gained a whole lot from that experience. Somehow, staying up to do art till four in the morning, large Starbucks coffee in hand, stressed out because this one tiny part of your piece looks messed up... or your whole piece... doesn't make art feel like it's any fun anymore. Not to bash art school; a lot of my peers thrived, but it wasn't for me.
In fact, I feel like I learned a lot more from this website than I did over there.
So with that in mind I am coming back after over a year of absence. I probably won't be able to be as active, but I'll post as often as I can, and I'll keep making art as much as I can. Because I missed this place. And it's good to be back.
dA Questionnaire!
- How long have you been on DeviantArt? I have been on deviantArt for a little over a year now, though I've been exploring the site for much longer. I finally got an account when I thought my art was "good enough" to post online... I wish I had started posting sooner!
What does your username mean? My username is a tribute to the Styx, whose song was the inspiration behind my first novel. It's also a reference to a popular piece of graffiti with a rather interesting background, it's origins yet unknown.
Describe yourself in three words. Trying to draw.
Are you left or right handed? Right handed!
What was your first deviation?
And I was pretty darned proud of it too, considering it was a redo of an even older piece of art.
What is your favourite type of art to create? My favorite type of art to make is something that represents a story. I have a lot of ideas in my head, and it always feels really cool to be able to create something from that.
If you could instantly master a different art style, what would it be? I would try to master hyperrealism... That would be very helpful to me. In the meantime, I'll just work on it slow.
What was your first favourite?
I waited so long to be able to favorite this. Finally I had the chance. 
What type of art do you tend to favourite the most? I tend to favorite things that inspire me and it's something I can learn from somehow or another. It could be something small, like the character design seems striking, the colors work well together, etc. If I can learn from it, it goes into my favorites and gets redrawn when I'm in need of inspiration.
Who is your all-time favourite deviant artist? Aaaaah I spam people too much. theTieDyeCloak, alongside the ever lovely and beautifully strange art of the Vivocateur. I also love lydia-san; it's so cool to see how much she's improving.
If you could meet anyone on DeviantArt in person, who would it be? lydia-san, my devBFF! (love you girl!) Also let's not forget JSAriadna, who is an insanely skilled painter. I'd love to learn a thing or two from her.
How has a fellow deviant impacted your life? I think all of deviantArt has really impacted me for the better. I used to only draw anime fan art, but when I discovered dA I learned about so many new styles, and that really made me want to get better. I doubt she remembers or thinks anything of it, but I remember J-Saravia gave me my first real critique, and that really pushed me and helped me a lot.
What are your preferred tools to create art? Uh... I don't know, actually. I like colored pencils, charcoal, ink, Clip Studio and Procreate. Whatever fits the piece I'm working on, I guess. :bademoticon:
What is the most inspirational place for you to create art? My desk, music on, after browsing through great art.
What is your favourite DeviantArt memory? My favorite memory was when I learned how to draw longer facial shapes. Everyone told me I needed to learn to use ovals as the base for faces; that the faces I drew were too squished. People commented with tutorials, advice, and I tried everything. Then one day somebody said something new, and I tried it out, and suddenly everything clicked in my mind. And I realized deviantArt was really helping me to learn.
#deviantartistquestionnaire
Expensive Supplies is Expensive.
Welp! I've been doing lots of new stuff art wise; I've been experimenting with lots of different mediums lately.
Acrylic paint, oil colored pencils that are WAY too expensive, Crayola stuff, ink...! I also got a new program called Krita, which is actually pretty great! It's free to download and I love all the different brushes...!! I've also been trying to set up a bit of a queue, so hopefully I don't leave everyone for four months at a time anymore.Also started carrying a sketchbook with me everywhere I go. I just whip it out and try to draw what I see... so now I'm approximately two drawings better than I've ever been at drawing soda cans.
Yay!!I can't wait for August.
I get to start taking art classes at my college... I'm nervous, but I hope I do well. Hopefully they'll help me improve so one day I can art for a living. I love making things; it would be nice to live off my crazy imagination.That's all for now, friends. Catch you later!